Silly Daisies

Silly little daisies
growing all around
They don’t seem to understand
how pretty they make the ground
Their beauty is simple yet astounding,
their colour bright and pure
Their petals can be so challenging,
their stems make you unsure
A world without the daisy,
would be a very bleak world indeed
Though even though they’re so beautiful,
man still tramples on the seed

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The Big Moment– Going to See the Divergent Premiere

So I went to see Divergent last night.

For me, this was a huge deal. I’ve been waiting to see this film since the bloody book came out, when nobody even knew there was going to be a movie. I just wanted to see a film adaptation that badly. I’m sure there were a lot of other fans out there that wanted to see it as badly as I did. I’m not trying to say that I love this series more than anyone.

I just wanted to say why.

I love to read, of course. Granted I haven’t had much time to in the past few weeks due to school, but I do love it with a passion. I usually read novels from the YA genre, which included stories like The Hunger Games and The Mortal Instruments and whatnot. These books provided me with a sense of escapism, which I very much craved. When I would put the book down and snap back to reality, however, I would feel somewhat upset. As much as I love the girl heroines (as main characters, especially, so I can get the perspective from their point of view), I couldn’t relate to any of them, and it made me sad. All of these girls were fearless and tough and selfless and brave. They always knew the right thing to do. And I couldn’t relate to that. I’m not any of those things, no matter how much I would like to be.

In 2011, my teacher called me over and told me she had a new book that I might enjoy. She handed me a copy, and I looked doubtfully at the cover. It wasn’t something I would’ve picked up on my own. “I think you’ll love it,” she said, though, so I opened up the pages that night.

I did love it. I was freaking obsessed with it. I finished it that night and went to school the next day on no sleep. I didn’t tell my teacher I had finished it, though, because I wanted to keep it for a while longer and savor the story, go back and reread some of my favorite parts before returning it to her. One of the things I Ioved the most was the main character, Tris. Tris (originally Beatrice) was nothing special. She was scrawny and weak. She wasn’t selfless, and she didn’t immediately meet up to her desires. But it was okay, because eventually, she worked to become most of those things.

Call me stupid, but I found that I could relate to Tris. Like, a lot. I change my name to a shortened version, and I’m not completely selfless, as much as I would love to say that I am. In fact, I’m almost a very selfish person. I don’t meet up to my own desires, because there are things I want so desperately to do but don’t seem to have the talent for. I’m a weak person, not strong like I wish, both emotionally and physically. And, like Tris, I am uncomfortable with my body, though it’s definitely not because I’m too skinny.

Tris brought me hope and ambition back in 2011 and she still continues to today. Tris gave me the desire to be brave, something I really needed. She made me feel that, even if I’m nothing spectacular at the moment, I could work toward something better, become the vision of me I would rather be, with a little sweat and blood. Seeing a real Tris up on the screen in front of my eyes smacked those things in my face all over again. Shailene gave me my worries, but she really did a fantastic job playing the part of one of my role models. For that matter, the whole movie did a fantastic job. At some parts I wondered if somehow the makers had seen into my mind and how I pictured the settings because they were so exact to how I imagined them. At other parts I was pleasantly surprised. They really did a great job delivering the perfect film adaptation of the book I so love, and I’m so grateful for that.

Now, when can I go see it again?

Skeleton Clique

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So I got this scarf as a late Christmas present. And I love it. Like, a lot. My neighbor stopped me while I was on a walk and was like, “Hey, I made you this so you can add it to your Skeleton Clique collection.” I am completely obsessed with it and plan to wear it to the twenty one pilots concert in April (which oh my gosh I am so excited for!!).

To feel the wind against my closed eyes
to feel eyelashes flutter against my cheeks
To be surrounded by this dark
To fall into this dream
To try and find another way
to understand with no doubt
To not fear another day
to not wish to be out
To find out how the wind does scream
To see and not be sad
As depressing as the reflection seems
It wouldn’t be so bad
To feel the wind beneath my feet
To feel or feel no more
To be surrounded by peaceful silence
is what I’m wishing for.