So. I’ve been thinking again.
This whole I-have-four-walls thing. That a lot of people have, not just me. I think that maybe protecting yourself may not be so bad, but you need to let those walls down at least once in your life. You need to fall completely in love, at least once. You need to hurt badly, at least once. Maybe not in the same time and not in that order, but, because you’re human, you need to stop hiding, be fearless, and get in touch with your emotions.
Let me put this in story term. When you’re on the bus, you learn to sit down at any seat possible. Sometimes you’ll be the first one in that seat, and everyone else that comes on after you will look for another place, any other person but you to sit next to. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. I mean, you get the seat all to yourself. Don’t have to smoosh your backpack against your chest anymore, instead you can seat it next to you and have loads of leg room. And it’s nice, you tell yourself; no one to worry about. Deep down, though, it doesn’t feel good at all. It feels… lonely.
Then there’s those days when someone does sit next to you, and there’s nothing you can do to make them move– free country and all. You can get a variety of people, and you have no pick in which variety they’ll be, because life throws one at you, and that’s who you get for the ride.
You can get people like Elisa, who will simply sit next to you for the sake of not standing, who talks to the people across the rows. These are the people who try their best to pretend you don’t exist.
You could also get people like David, who will pretend you don’t exist unless one day he wants something from you (such as a phone number), and you don’t even know the guy’s name yet.
Then there’s people like Laura. Laura is someone you can’t help but let in, because you’re human and deep down you want a friend, despite all you say. She accepts you, too, but only off and on. When she’s with her friends, she doesn’t know you. You are the one who has to start the conversation over and over again, until eventually you just give up and decide that if she wants to talk to you, she will.
Then, sometimes, you just might get an Oliver. You see Oliver every day, because he lives only a few houses down from you, and you always mean to say “hi”, but you can never find the guts to, until one day, you think of something not so corny, such as, “So what did you think of testing yesterday?”. And then he’ll reply with an, “Oh, it was boring. But easy.” Then a funny thing will happen: he’ll keep talking to you, for the whole ride to school, and for once, you won’t be the only one trying to think of something to say. He’ll be a funny guy, and talk about the most random things, and ask you questions back. Then, an even funnier thing will occur: he’ll ask you your name.
When you let down your walls and let people in, putting yourself out in the open to your emotions, you can have any of these people sit by you. Sometimes, you may have an Elisa, or a David, or a Laura, who maybe you wish had just left you alone, and you regret opening up to in the first place. However, you may just get an Oliver. In the end, it won’t really matter, because in reality, you know that no matter who sits by you, it would be better than sitting alone.