UGH

Guess who’s sick again!!!!

It seems to never end. Fortunately, mother let me stay home from school this time. I’m just chilling in my room, watching One Tree Hill and drinking coffee. I should probably stick doing my homework somewhere in there, too.

In other, brighter news, I have started a new official project! My Wattpad account has been a great place for me to fill the hole in my heart left by the disappointment of finishing After Midnight and having it go nowhere, but finishing books on there was making the hole bigger because I grew very attached to them (*coughs* check out Worlds Apart and Accept *coughs*), so I have decided to get back to fully enveloping in one sole project.

The story idea actually came to me all the way back in sixth grade. I was trying to get closer to my cousin, so I was all let’s write a book together (shocker, she actually used to think I was cool for writing). We started working on it together, but she soon realized that she actually didn’t like writing all that much, so she handed the project over to me solely. I worked on it for a bit, too… then got bored. But it’s back now, and I am kind of excited about it! With the help of my trusty beta (and best friend) Aryn, I’m hoping that the first draft isn’t too rough (though let’s face it, it probably is).

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When You’re Drowning

By the title, I don’t mean water-wise. I mean I have a horrible cold, and with my breathing issues it feels like I am drowning inside of my own lungs. It’s a great experience, let me tell you. I’ve been keeping myself busy by listening to good music on Spotify and studying for the ACTs (WHICH ARE TOMORROW AND I KEEP HAVING NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS ABOUT IT).

Every Friday, my Enriched U.S. History teacher asks us a question after giving us the rundown for the day.

“More importantly,” he’ll say, “how is everyone doing today?”

Usually, we’ll all grumble. “ErggUUHHH.”

“Well, you should be good,” he’ll reply. “You know why?”

By now, we do, but we humor him and ask, “Why?”

Then he lifts his arms and does this dance as he speaksings, “‘Cause it’s Friday…” This past Friday, he added to this little song. “‘Cause it’s Friday and we don’t have school again ’til Monday but sike we have Monday off hashtag thanks Pulaski and then you guys technically don’t have school on Tuesday because you’re taking a test that will affect your entire lives hashtag no pressure.”

We all went from laughing to hushed as the dark mood settled over after that. I don’t think anyone is prepared, personally. I know I’m not. Also, here’s a fun fact: the writing portion doesn’t show up on your final score, and the English portion is rumored to not really matter at all anymore! Yay! The only part of school I’m good at means absolutely nothing on this huge test that I’m going to fail!!!

Also, I’m going to be sick while taking it. You’ll probably be able to hear me coughing and blowing my nose from miles away, since it will be dead silent in the bingo hall we’ll be at.

Ugh.

In other news, I’ve sent a copy of my novel Worlds Apart (which is on my Wattpad profile, if you’re curious) to my aunt. This should be exciting…. I’m kind of really nervous about it. I’m still trying to get used to the fact that it’s okay to let people you know personally read your work. It’s just so….uck.

How is everyone else doing today?

The Art of Letting Go

You send out a “hey” but don’t get a response.

Someone texts you a “hey” but you have to fight and keep from replying to them.

The world seems to expect every person to be able to cope with letting go of someone. It happens to everyone at least once in their lives. Whether it be because of death or because you had to cut ties with another for your better being, it’s bound to be part of your life. And it hurts. It can hurt a lot.

Sometimes you don’t want it to happen. That usually involves a lot of tears, and confusion. Maybe your friend has dropped you without any explanation and now just avoids you, despite your many attempts to keep in touch. Or maybe they slowly drifted away, and you knew it had been coming for a while, but still couldn’t understand exactly why when it did.

Or maybe it was at your fault. That usually involves a lot of guilt and stress. It may be better for you in the long run, because this person was dragging you down, but with their constant texts or phone calls it’s so hard to say no, because of things that have happened between the two of you in the past or you’re just a genuinely good person and hate to say goodbye in such a cruel way. Sometimes, though, it has to be done.

You may not get over this for a while. Maybe not ever, even. You may still carry around a piece of that person for years and years. Others it may be easier and you’ll have them off of your mind in a few months. While you may never forget them, sometimes it’s best to let them go.

Hermit?

It’s a nice, sunny day. Sure, it did sprinkle rain a bit, but that only lasted about five minutes, tops. I have access to a big, private pool, as we are dogsitting while some family friends are out of town, and they gave us permission to use the pool at our leisure. My sister and mother are taking advantage of this, but I choose to sit inside. For this, I am criticized. They don’t understand why I would rather stay in the air conditioned home instead of outside in the heat. Who’s right, though? Why is it that I get eyes rolled at me because I would rather watch an episode of Doctor Who with a cup of coffee and wearing a sweater than baking in the heat in a swimsuit? It’s not like I stay holed up on my computer 24/7 or eyes glued to the telly. I do other stuff, too, like read and write and household chores. I’m not a couch potato, really, I just am not an outdoorsy person, so why aren’t my preferences socially acceptable (at least among my family)? If I were doing the same things but in an outside setting, would they be okay with it then?

I guess I’ll never know. I shall just live on, drinking my pop as I write a blog post as my family goes swimming, and live with their remarks, because in all honesty it doesn’t bother me all that much.