To feel the wind against my closed eyes
to feel eyelashes flutter against my cheeks
To be surrounded by this dark
To fall into this dream
To try and find another way
to understand with no doubt
To not fear another day
to not wish to be out
To find out how the wind does scream
To see and not be sad
As depressing as the reflection seems
It wouldn’t be so bad
To feel the wind beneath my feet
To feel or feel no more
To be surrounded by peaceful silence
is what I’m wishing for.

Heart of Losing

I have been in the same spot for so very, very long

Nothing has changed

and it’s driving me crazy


It seems like you’ve always been gone

Neither one of us to blame

but the hurt isn’t fading


Why is it

that I can’t help but love you

when you don’t even see me?


Why is it

that I care so much though, even if you did know,

we would never be able to be?


I sit here alone,

always wishing you were here.


I put my head in my hands

open my mouth to scream

but nothing comes out

the sound gets lost with the wind in the trees.

I put my pen to the paper

in attempt to get it all down,

always end up putting it off for later

because the words could never be found…

Oh Hey I Got Frustrated and Wrote This

This isn’t even jealousy

This is just anger

You know you’re not as clever as you think

Everybody knows you weren’t the one who wanted him first

I don’t understand how you can still call yourself my friend

I could be happy during the day but you ruin it all by the end

You know, it almost makes me want to laugh

You’ll pretend to understand, no doubt you’ll laugh back

To try and take the one you know I’ve wanted to call mine for years

He’s told me he wouldn’t take you anyway, so I don’t know what’s with all of these tears

I wouldn’t be able to blame you, if I knew your feelings were real

But I know you just want him because of me, and it wasn’t until me that you found appeal

I’ll pretend I don’t notice, that’s the kind of person I am

I think overall it’s the fact that I can’t have him either that really makes me sad

Just Once

Just once

Just once could mean seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years

Just once could mean a person, a place, an event

Just once could mean heartache or love

Just once could be the way their eyes crinkle when they laugh

Just once could be somewhat shaggy hair and lashes that flutter against cheeks

Just once could be eyes cast downwards in embarrassment

It could be cheeks flamed red when flattered

Just once could be snow-covered shoes lined up near the doorway

Just once could be hands bundled together, nose pressed against nose, trying to keep warm

Just once could be shaking crying or angry screaming or awkward silence or ringing laughter

Just once could be the sound of footsteps, pacing back and forth as you dance around the floor

Just once could be button-down shirts and sweaters in the rain

Just once could be the sound of your voice as you beg them to stay

Just once could be the sight of taillights as their car pulls away

Just once could be a crash in the dead of night

Just once could be a tightening in your chest or your hands shaking with fright

Just once could be the beeping of a hospital machine

Just once could be the panic when they no longer breathe

Just once could be seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years

Just once could mean heartache or love

Just once could be the memory that they left behind

But just once will never be the wishes that they were still here upon stars in the sky